I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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