He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
