Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Randomize
