She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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