Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
