you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
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