I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
