Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize
