whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
