I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
