I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
