All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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