He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Randomize
