Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
