I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
She announced her abortion via fbk
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
