I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
