i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
the night ended with taco bell and tears
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
