i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
