ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
