His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
