this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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