You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
No more Irish car bombs ever.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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