hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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