I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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