their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
