Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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