It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
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