Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Randomize
