Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
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i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
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I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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