I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
