bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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