he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
