Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
And the cops told us we were all naked.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
