girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
