you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
