At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
