feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
