Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
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