and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
