I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
