do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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