I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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