Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
