If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
