I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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