so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize