talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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