I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
