My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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