It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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