billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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