Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
