Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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