I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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