Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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