I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
