I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
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