addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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