Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
