He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
